Personal Finance Essentials
20 Questions to Ask Yourselves – and Each Other
The 20 Questions Every Couple Must Answer
Before Saying “I Do”
Because money is one of the leading causes of divorce, the financial rules and habits you and your spouse establish early can have a profound impact on your marriage’s long-term success. These questions may seem mundane at first glance, but even something as simple as who pays the phone bill carries emotional weight – reflections of your upbringing, your values and your sense of responsibility. Do not skip this exercise.
The two of you should write down the answers to the following questions, then exchange answers.
How much and what kind of debts do you have?
• The name of the creditor
• The amount of money you owe each creditor
• The minimum monthly payment for each debt
• The term of each loan (meaning when it will be paid off)
• The interest rate each loan is charging you
Are you behind on any payments?
• Have you ever been turned down for credit? If yes, explain.
• Has a creditor ever contacted you? If yes, provide details.
What is your annual income?
Do you plan to work full-time until retirement age?
• What changes do you plan to make?
• When do you plan to make them?
• What will it cost to execute these changes?
• How will you pay for it?
Do you expect your spouse to work full-time until retirement?
What percentage of the family’s total household income do you expect to contribute?
Which of the two of you will be responsible for paying the bills each month?
• How much of your spouse’s income should your spouse devote to the household’s monthly bills?
• How much of your income are you willing to devote to savings and investments?
• How much of your spouse’s income should your spouse devote to savings and investments? Express your answer in both a dollar amount and as a percentage of your spouse’s income.
How much credit card debt do you think is acceptable?
Would you be willing to use your income and assets to pay off the debts your spouse accumulated prior to the marriage?
Should your spouse be willing to use his or her income and assets to pay off the debts you accumulated prior to the marriage?
Do you plan to maintain a bank account in your name only?
Does it matter to you if your spouse maintains a bank account in their name only?
Should the two of you maintain a joint checking account?
• Should money be contributed to it by you, by your spouse or both?
• What percentage of income should you or your spouse contribute?
Do you have or plan to obtain credit cards in your name only?
• How many cards?
• What is or would be your total credit limit?
Does it matter to you if your spouse maintains credit cards in his or her name only?
If yes:
• Which of you will use these accounts?
• Will the money to pay the charges made on these accounts be contributed by you, by your spouse or both?
Should the two of you maintain joint credit card accounts?
• Which of you will use these accounts?
• Will the money to pay the charges made on these accounts be contributed by you, by your spouse or both?
• In what amounts, and in what frequency will these contributions be made?
How many children do you want to have?
How soon do you want to have your first child?
If yes:
• For how long?
• Which one of you will do this?
Are you willing to relocate to another city?
If you got a windfall of a “significant amount of money,” how much would that be?
Don’t be surprised if your answers don’t match at first. Through conversation and compromise, you’ll reach understanding and agreement. Don’t worry if your agreements seem unconventional to others – the system that’s best for the two of you is the system that works for the two of you. Your system is working if:
As you begin to meld your finances together, you’re likely to discover the need to change how you handled your finances before. Being unwilling to change will prove deadly to your marriage. If you can’t agree on these important questions, or if these questions provoke anguish, dismay or conflict, then it’s highly likely that there are serious matters afflicting your relationship. It’s something you might want to think about – before you get married.